Iris
by Rhyianna Merquise
Summary: A take on the events during a certain night in Lothlórien when Arwen renounced an Eternity with her people for a single lifetime with a King in exile.


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Iris

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Summary: "Neither, lady, is the Twilight for me. For I, a mortal. And if you will cleave to me, Evenstar, then the Twilight you must also renounce." A take on the events during a certain night in Lothlórien when Arwen renounced an Eternity with her people for a single lifetime with a king in exile. 

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Rating: PG

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Disclaimer: Aragorn, Arwen and the rest of the Lord of the Rings characters belong to J.R.R. Tolkien. May he not roll over in his grave at what we do to his creations. The song 'Iris' belongs to the Goo Goo Dolls, and I have listened to it for far, far too long today. 

Thanks to all who reviewed "Full of Grace". Even if you didn't understand it. Right, Ivy? Just for your information, I'm not sure if he aged or not, but for my story, he didn't. And, yes, Aragorn could, somewhat, choose when he died. Direct quote: "I am the last of the Númenoreans and the latest King of Eldar Days, and to me has been given not only a span thrice that of Men of Middle-Earth, but also the grace to go at my will, and give back the gift." And as for the end? Yes, Arwen did die. But, in the happy fantasy world inside my head, they meet again, somewhere "beyond the circles of the world". 

P.S. – Let me know if I am utterly horrible with Aragorn here. In the beginning, I was intending to do this from Arwen's point of view, but decided against it at the last moment. 

*~*~*~*~*

And I'd give up forever to touch you

'Cause I know that you feel me somehow

You're the closest to Heaven that I'll ever be

And I don't wanna go home right now

When all I can taste is this moment

And all I can breathe is your life

And sooner or later it's over

I just don't wanna miss you tonight

*~*~*~*~*

For a mere season I have roved in the fair glades of Lothlórien, trying, for a time, to forget the world that lay outside these unfading trees. But now, a darkness gathers upon our times that I have not seen in all my days. Soon, I must leave the comfort of this hidden land, and journey into the far countries and into dark perils, some of which rumour is enough to make the bravest warrior cower. 

And tonight, as I stand upon the fair hill, Cerin Amroth, in the heart of Lothlórien, looking into the East, the Shadow consumes my thoughts, and what may come to pass in the dark days that lie before us. 

At length, I am aware of another presence beside me. It could only be one person. Arwen. My light of hope through all of the darkness and gloom that surrounds us. A small, soft hand reaches over to take mine. I smile, almost unnoticeably, and lace our fingers together, still looking towards Mordor. Next to me, I can feel Arwen's gaze following mine. 

How long until the darkness reaches this place? How long until the Shadow flies over her? She is the daughter of Elrond, so she will have vigilance against this evil far longer than any mortal could ever hope. But eventually, Sauron will turn his eye towards Lothlórien and to Rivendell. And what then? Will I still be seeking rest inside these fair borders? Nay, I have little choice but to fulfill the duties that have been bestowed upon me as the Heir of Isildur. 

A gentle sigh brings my focus back to the lady at my side. Turning towards her for the first time this night, my eyes take in the flawless porcelain skin and the silken raven hair. The expression on her face is a troubled one. 

"What grieves you so, Evenstar, that you wear such an expression?" Her eyes meet mine, and I can feel my soul being pierced. Nimble fingers reach up to rest lightly on my cheek. 

"You mean to leave soon." 

It is my turn to sigh. "I have very little choice in the matter, lady. I am Isildur's Heir. Therefore, I must carry out the responsibilities that are given with the title, even if it means my venturing alone into the darkest realms within Middle-Earth." 

Arwen does not answer, but the hand that was on my face slides down to my neck, and draws me nearer to her. Releasing her fingers, I gather her into my arms, her head tucked underneath my chin, and her arms twined around my neck. I relish the feeling of holding her like this; the feeling of total peace that surrounds me, and the sense of serenity and calm that radiates from her. 

After a few moments, Arwen raises her head and looks at me, before making an attempt at a smile. She is putting on a brave face. For whose benefit, hers or mine, I know not. But I can see past the façade in an instant. She does not wish for me to leave her, and she also fears what may befall me while I roam. 

"Is there naught I can say, Evenstar," I whisper, looking down at her, "that will ease your fears?" 

Sighing softly, Arwen looks fixedly at a point somewhere beyond my shoulder, while her fingers absently delve into my hair and twist themselves around the locks. "Estel, I know as well as you what perils may present themselves before you. You have no need to coddle me and placate your words solely for my benefit." 

I smile. "Your pardon. I should have known better than to attempt to pacify you." 

"Indeed, you should have." She takes notice of my grin, and glares playfully, before turning her gaze to the West. To her home. I can feel the mirth leave her countenance. Her father all but forbade our love, yet here we stand in each other's arms. But what of when I return? Will she still welcome me with open arms? Or will she have found another, whose love is neither forbidden, nor unwelcome by her father? 

Unconsciously, my arms tighten around her. Raising her gaze to mine, Arwen seems to read my thoughts, before speaking again, very softly: "Estel, I am yours, and I shall always be yours." 

I cannot find words suitable enough to respond to this pronouncement, so I lean down and kiss her, trying to tell her how I feel through this. Her mouth softens under mine, and she leans into me further.

Long moments pass before I can gather the will to pull my lips away from hers. When I do, she reaches up to brush my unruly hair away from my face, and then leans forward slightly to drop a light kiss on the tip of my nose. I grin and pull her very close for a brief moment. She smiles in return, before laying her head on my chest, face turned toward the East. 

We stand without speaking, and the only thing I can hear is the beating of her heart. At length, her voice breaks the silence. "Dark, indeed, is the Shadow, and yet, I am rejoicing. For you, Estel, shall be among those who conquer it." 

Her words bring doubt to my mind. I shall destroy that which Gil-galad, Elendil, and Elrond combined did not?

"Alas, Lady. I cannot foresee it, and what the final result may be, is beyond my view. And yet, with your hope, I will hope. And the Shadow I utterly renounce." 

Arwen's head shifts so that she is looking towards the Twilight in the West. She said she was mine. But at the same time, she belongs to the Twilight. I do not wish to push her into a decision, but she cannot belong to both of us. 

"The Shadow I renounce," I repeat. "But neither, lady, is the Twilight for me. For I, a mortal. And if you will bind yourself to me, Evenstar, then the Twilight you must also renounce." 

Within the circle of my arms, Arwen stands as still as stone, gaze still turned to the West. My heart clenches. If she will not abjure the West, if she walks away from me, I will go away a broken man. 

At last, dark eyes shift back to me. "I will cleave to you, Aragorn, and turn from the Twilight, though there lies the land of my people, and the long home of all my kin." Her whispered answer sends a feeling of exultation down my spine. And her use of my given name is not lost on me. She has bound herself to the Lord of the Dúnedain, not to Estel of Imladris. 

"However," her voice brings me out of my musings and back to the present. "I would have your word that you will come back to me." 

Can I promise her this? Can I really, when even I know not the terrors that await me? "Arwen…"

Her dark eyes are imploring, and in that moment, I know it would take more than the power of Sauron to prevent me from returning to her. "I will come back to you." 

"Promise me." Her voice holds a note of urgency. The sounds pulls at my heart. 

"Arwen…if I have to fly to the sun on wax wings, if I have to swim the bottomless oceans of the world, if I have to go through death, Heaven and Hell, I swear, I will come back to you." 

She nods in silent acceptance, before stretching upwards to press her lips to mine. I surrender to the kiss and try to lose myself in the moment. Time passes, and reality begins to take hold again. 

Pulling back just far enough so that our lips are no longer touching, I wait for her to open her eyes. Her lids slowly rise, and dark eyes become visible. "I love you," I whisper. 

"And I, you," she breathes, smiling softly. 

Reluctantly, I disentangle myself from her arms. Backing up a step, I take her hands in mine. "We should go back. People will begin to wonder." 

Arwen scoffs, letting me know she cares not, but allows me to lead her back to Caras Galadhon. 

Reaching her room, she moved to go in, but stopped when I reached out my hand. Turning to face me, her expression is that of bemusement. 

I sigh, somewhat heavily before speaking. "I mean to leave in the morning." 

If she is surprised, she does not show it. Instead, she merely nods once, and presses my hand tightly. Words cannot do this moment justice, so I will not try. 

Chastely pressing my lips to her, I try and remember this feeling. The kiss ends soon, and after saying soft goodbyes, I make my way back to my own chambers. 

The Evenstar shines down on me as I walk, and it moves me to wonder which is fairer: the star that glows with Heavenly light above me, or the lady that relinquished her immortality for a king in exile? In this hour, I would choose the latter. 

Touching my fingers to my lips in memory of Arwen's kisses, I come to the conclusion that while both the Lady and the star may shine will brilliance, only one truly illuminates my darkness here. 

*~**The End**~*

-On a side note: Please forgive the rather horrible ending. I really don't like it, but in hopes of finishing the story sometime and not making it sound too similar to "The Last Night"…well, this is what happened. Smite me. 


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